A Very Wet Company

All of a sudden the wall Alice was facing rose as if pulled by giantic fists, and bright sunlight fell into the hall. With big, frightened eyes Alice watched the sea which was foaming and raging right at her feet. A strong wind was breathing through the hall, and blew Alice's pigtails from one side to the other. Before she could do anything, a huge wave built up in the sea, and came closer and closer, and grew bigger and bigger - and collapsed with a loud roar on top of her.

Alice felt water falling on her from all sides. Deeper and deeper she was burried under the water. Rowing desperately with her arms, she tried to escape the undertow, and to get to the surface. Slowly the sunlight came closer, and finally she shot to the surface fiercely gasping for breath.

When she had recovered, and had spewed out considerable amount of sea water, she looked around her: all around nothing but water. No hall, no underground tunnels could be seen any more. But at that moment Alice did not bother at all. She enjoyed the pleasant coolness of the water and the tingling sensation of salt on her skin. Lying on her back, she let herself drift and spoil by the wind, the water and the sun. Afterwards she splashed around for a while, and swam a few strokes.

As she did so, she met a creature dressed in the skin of a mouse. Its face was hidden behind a mouse-like mask. This creature swam for some time next to Alice without noticing her.

Mouse: (peeved) Not at all, my dear. After all, the likes of us is used to it.

Alice: I didn't know mice could swim.

Mouse: (condescending) Of course a normal mouse can't do it. But I am a sea-mouse, after all.

Alice: Rubbish! There are no sea-mice.

Mouse: (indignant) You must know it.

Alice: (defiant) There are none. There are only sea elephants, sea lions and sea urchins.

Mouse: There you are! Why then should there be no sea-mice?

Alice: But mice don't live in the water. They belonginto holes and mouse traps.

Mouse: (highly indigiant)Well, I must say!

Alice: (unflustered) In any case mice don't live in the water. And therefore there are no sea-mice. After all there are no sea-cats swimming around either.

At the word "sea-cats" the mouse started ,and glanced around scaredly. But Alice did not notice this in her child-like eagerness.

Mouse: (irritated) Who or what is kitty?

Alice: That's my little pussycat! What did you think?

At that moment Alice felt ground under her feet. She straight-ened up, and stood just up to the hips in the water. That is why it was not sure whether the mentioning of the cat or the sight of the dripping wet, uprightly standing Alice had scared the mouse. At any rate, it swam away panic-striken.

Mouse: But what will happen once it's grown up?

Shaking her head, Alice followed the frightened mouse. Soon they reached a sandbank, where there were already some other figures: a big black curlew, a marabou, two gulls, two dormice, and a stork. All wore masks in front of their faces, so that Alice could not , with the best will of the world, decide whether there were really animals under these disguises, or not. At the moment they were really busy to dry their wet feathers or their wet skins, and made the strangest contortions as they did so. But their efforts were not very successful.

Stork: But somehow we have to get dry again.

Alice: But a stork doesn't belong in the water at all.

Mouse: She knows exactly where each of us belongs to. She's terribly clever. (Everybody laughs except for Alice.)

Curlew: (with dignity) I don't belong to nobody.

Alice: But I didn't mean it this way!

Marabou: We haven't got the time for such difficult problems right now. At first we have to find out how to dry again. Has anybody got an idea?

Mouse: I know something that will certainly make us all dry. It really is the driest stuff in the whole wide world.

Stork: And that is what?

Mouse: Well, listen to me! (clears its throat pompously) William the Conquerer, whose venture was personally promoted by the pope, soon gained the support of the English, who needed leaders and were used to invasions and occupations anyway. Edwin and Morcar, the Dukes of Northumbria and...

Alice: Oh no, is that really necessary?

Mouse: Did you say anything?

Alice: No, no. Feel free to go on.

Mouse: I just thought you... Well, these Dukes agreed to join a campaign with William the Conquerer; and even Stigand, the Archbishop of Canterbury, thought it wise to go together with Edgar Atheling to William the Conquerer, and to offer him the crown. At first William hesitated. But when shortly afterwards the Normans...(to Alice) Well, my dear, have you become any drier in the meantime?

Alice: Not at all, unfortunately. I'm still just as wet as a while ago.

Marabou: In that case we'll have to think of something else.

Stork: The best remedy has always been the caucus-race.

Alice: What's that?

Stork: Well, a caucus-race is some kind of proportional race.

Alice: And what is that?

Without any further explanation, all the animals started to run after each other in a circle. They ran as fast as they could, as if each tried to catch up with the animal in front of it; but this never happened though. After a short while Alice joined them, and whistling a lively marching tune she ran around on the sandbank like all the others. As the participants had legs of different lengths, the whole picture looked very funny. Especially the stork, which hopped around on one leg only, made Alice laugh so much that she finally stopped running exhausted, and held her side. Obviously the caucus-race or proportional race was over anyway, since the animals now stopped this terrific dance just as abruptly as the had begun it.

Mouse: Who distributes the prizes?

Animals: Alice!

Alice: But I have got no prizes with me.

Without batting an eyelid the mouse reached for Alice's ear and came up with eight small tarts. Everybody applauded delightedly, and with a solemn expression on her face Alice distributed the tarts to the animals. They all expressed their thanks with well behaved bows. At last, every animal had received its prize, only for Alice herself nothing remained.

Alice: (sad) But there's nothing left.

Mouse: And what do you think is this?

Again the mouse reached for Alice's ear, but this time the hand remained empty.

The mouse gripped Alice's nose and pulled out a thimble. The animals rejoiced together with Alice. The curlew took the thimble and presented it to Alice, who said thanks with a little bob. Now everybody had received his prize; and they had all dried again.

But Alice did not get any further with her story. In sheer excitement the animals jumped up and flew or swam away frantically. Soon, none was to be seen any more. Sadly, Alice followed them with her eyes. Now she was alone again - on a sandbank in the middle of the sea.

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